digital garden

I think I might know what it is that makes it so difficult for me to participate in mass society:

I have an intuition for logical and rhythmic inconsistency.

When I read, if something doesn’t flow, I become uncomfortable and unable to follow the language. In the same way, if there is a logical or cognitive flaw in interaction, I cannot relax or participate uninhibited. This is why I find so much of mass culture disturbing – there is neither logical nor rhythmic consistency in any action or object. When I am communicating with people, I cannot help but grimace or deliberately lose attention when something they say feels wrong.

This is why it is not so much the desire for truth that propels me from kitsch, but rather the consistent jarring of logical and aesthetic discrepancies that forces me to seek fluid truth. I do not expect to relax within truth either, and do not believe the state of being within truth is anything akin to Zarathustras inhabitation of the sea (never one overpowered by the other – the self must exist alongside truth). Maybe it is closer to being the singular plane where the ocean meets the sky?